Merry Christmas ... Keeping the Reason for the Season Alive

New Year's Eve 2016, here we are closing off another year and perhaps the best Christmas in many. Yes, there was one big surprise, but for the most part, one of the most calm holidays, despite the revolving door at our home with the comings and goings of family and friends.

It's wonderful to be able to report that on the medical front, all has been peaceful and calm with lots of pool time and walking,  helping to work out the kinks and cramps that make every effort to sneak in and take over my joints.

Nathalie and I had a fun time decorating the tree while  everyone else made themselves scarce.  This year has been rewarding in terms of choosing gifts and helping others do the same.  An aha moment came when pondering what someone in particular might like.  First of all, Christmas is no surprise to anyone, we know today when Christmas will come next year.  Second, we speak to those we plan to buy for, at a minimum, several times during the year.  If we are truly listening to what they say, we might pick up a clue about something they might like or be interested in. If not, we can always initiate a conversation to that effect.  Why then, do we tend to aimlessly wander around like zombies at the 11th hour, desperately hoping for that one perfect, just right gift to jump off the shelves into our waiting arms?  The sense of desperation and frustration is typically projected at the season but in reality it's my own sense of inadequacy for not having listened more carefully to those closest to me,  throughout the year.  As it turned out, I experienced a true sense of joy having participated in at least ten gift choices, all of which were appreciated.  I know, I know, it shouldn't have taken me 60 years to figure that one out, but it did.  And kudos to all of you who seem to be able to operate in such a joyful manner throughout the year. Another major shift was to reduce the gift 'quota' that we seem to have imposed upon ourselves for years.  The challenge of changing any habit of course, is that anything out of the norm feels very uncomfortable.  It took a few self coaching lessons to realize that the 'grinchy feelings''  which kept surfacing were hints of changing behaviour in the direction we had decided to go. Counter-intuitive but true.

A God moment came a few weeks ago when, out of the blue, an idea came into my head about a potentially great gift.  In my own mind, it was a gift for our own kids, but could easily apply to that one person in everyone's life - the person who has everything.   It seems this year more than ever, the feelings of abundance to a fault have been hovering over me, sometimes perched on my shoulder like a little angel of conscience.  In a year when we've had hatred, misery, loss, desperation, homelessness and war blown into our living rooms day in and day out, how can we not think about our lot in life as compared to millions of others suffering in all parts of the world.  Do we really need the latest of this, or the fourth of that, or the newest version of the other?  In as much as we do pray everyday for the entire world when we say our grace before meals, there seemed to be something more tangible we could do.

One great idea of course is we can go through the charity catalogues that seem to have taken on the Sears Wishbook look, where you can buy a rooster, a chicken, a goat or some other very helpful community support.  I get all that, but once you've done it, you're left with a good feeling and presumably a little paper reminder to hang on your tree.  I've even done that and created a collage for my brother to hang on the wall as a daily confirmation of the good he has done in the world by not receiving yet another gift from us.  Well, this year did turn out to be different.  To the point that Nathalie declared it was her favourite Christmas present.  Yes!  God is Good.  What was it you ask?  Pretty simple.

We decided to craft a letter to 3 of our kids as an experiment in looking at Christmas, and the world around us, from just a slightly different perspective.  The letter talked about keeping the 'reason for the season' in mind, together with donning a 'spirit of poverty' in our daily living, remembering that Jesus started his life among the poor rather than the 'rich and famous'.  The Christmas theme and how it weaves together threads of joy and celebration with poverty and hardship; the same threads visible in our own personal lives.  We offered a gift to help these young adults reach out and share with someone who, for whatever reason, doesn't enjoy the quality of life that we have.  We invited them to let someone experience what it's like to enjoy a little treat from them.

The instruction was to take the contents of the second envelope and share with whoever they decide might benefit.  No rules, no parameters, no reporting back.  Like the saying goes "If we can (help), we must".  We invited then to experience the abundance of joy of changing the lives of others for the better, even one moment at a time.  Tucked in the second envelope were ten $10 bills.  In this way, they are encouraged to be mindful, conscious of those around them, and open to opportunities where they could make a difference.  It's a tiny step in shifting their thinking a little more outwardly than before.  They all have good hearts, which will be warmed even more, by gentle gestures of kindness.  The reactions were similar: quiet, thoughtful reading of the letter, surprise at the contents of the second envelope and, almost instant awareness, of the possibilities it holds for themselves and others.  While we haven't asked for any 'reporting back', we may encourage sharing stories they find particularly compelling.  Imagine, they can spread Christmas out over the entire year.

The biggest surprise of this Christmas was one of those moments you sometimes wonder will ever come, especially in today's secular world of instant gratification, relaxed rules and even, an eroding family structure throughout society.  Our son Matt, proposed to his girlfriend of 3 1/2 years, Jaclyn, just before Christmas dinner, in front of her family.  He had tucked the ring in the ring finger of the left glove of a pair he'd bought matching his own, and the last present to open.  As she tried them on, she felt something, reflected by a look of puzzlement to which Matt reacted, by getting down on one knee asking for her hand in marriage.  Matt, who has long said he had no particular interest in getting married in any formal sense.  Here, he was the guy who contacted her parents in advance asking permission to pose the ultimate question.  Needless to say the excitement added to the entire sparkle of this year's Christmas with many tears of joy, hugs and high fives.  Within hours plans were underway with lots of happy chatter, but as the mother of the future groom, I get to participate here and there, voice an opinion, add a comment or admire a decision, all without being in the centre of activity.  I apologize to many family members and friends with whom I've not yet shared the big news; the activity over the last week has left us with barely enough time to get through activities and get enough rest to keep going.

I will close this year with the same New Year's resolution I've made for quite a number of years now. It is to be able to say "I'm glad I did, rather than I wish I had."  It can apply to so many parts of our lives throughout the year and a simple one to use when making the smallest of decisions.  On that note, I will sign off, wish you a very Happy New Year, one filled with good health, peace and contentment, and pick up my phone to text those I have meant to share news with and email the others on my list.

Take care, God bless, and I'll be back next year!

Hugs,
Liz

dobbsjones@gmail.com

'Prayers wrapped in faith and sent with love are the greatest gifts we can receive.'