Chemo Consult

It's two weeks since my first 'real' post and much has gone on.  We are still responding to the well wishers and thank all of you who have communicated support through email, and of course those of you who have just gone ahead and prayed!

Mike arrived home on Thursday, October 17th and I played Florence Nightingale to his patient Patient. He is a physiotherapist's dream doing his excercises diligently, staples are out and he's walking with a cane.

A chemo consult yesterday provided a sense of direction and comfort that allows us to contemplate life a little further into the future and lifts a cloud of doubt that had been over us since late June.  Without going into detail, an unfortunate situation left us contemplating the possibility of a shortened life span, likely less than a  year.  It was a premature conclusion that left us shaken and unsure. While life is a gift to be enjoyed in the present, as humans, part of what gives us hope and keeps us going is the notion that we have many tomorrows to look forward to.  I too hope for many tomorrows to plan for and share with others.

The liver function test returned normal, so my medical team gave the nod for my daily glass of wine - just don't waste it on cheap wine they advised!  We doubled the dose of meds again on the 15th and other than further fluid retention and weight gain, my system seems to be tolerating it well.

During yesterday's visit we learned that the dose I am currently taking is that which has been known to be effective in arresting growth of cancer cells.  Sometimes it just takes longer than expected to kick in and take effect which is in line with the question as to its previous effectiveness.  A further cat scan at the end of November will provide an update on whether it's working.  The good news is that if it is effective, many patients can remain on it indefinitely.  Let's hope and pray for that option - secondary of course to 'God's will for my life'. 

In the event that the meds at this level are not holding, we have further options that include chemotherapy similar to the regime I went through at the beginning of this year.  Possibilities also exist that clinical trials may begin over the course of this adventure and I would be considered a candidate.

I often think of the challenges we would be facing had we not had the facilities here in Kingston that we often take for granted.

We've had expert care from all levels of the health care teams.  Receiving care is an interesting reflection of the level of expertise we have blended in with the sense of community that we enjoy.

One of the funniest experiences in this regard was during a stay last fall, a PCA who helped me shower used to be a professional colleague in a totally different setting.  We giggled at how unpredictable it was that we would find ourselves in this new situation.

From there, having a room on Kidd 5 facing the water, I imagined myself aboard a cruise ship and asked the PCAs and nurses each day which ports we were entering, and what the on shore activity was.  For those who played along, we had great fun!

As we face what we know to be an uncertain future, we are taking great comfort in the knowledge that there are so many individuals who really care.  It's amazing sometimes how we run through life thinking we need to be independent and do everything ourselves when all we have to do is pause, take a breath and be open to those around us.  I'm speaking of myself here of course, having lived a life of relative independence coupled with the notion that I had responsibility to direct the universe.

Now that all of that has been pulled away and there has been significant reliance on others, I've learned that sometimes our fierce independence robs others of being able to demonstrate kindness, affection and caring.  And we in turn, have difficulty accepting such gestures when the reality is that the good works that individuals take on, both as individuals and in groups, extend far beyond the group and gently wash throughout the whole community.  Good works beget good works and the light of God shines brighter than ever.  I've learned when feeling down, the best antidote is to extend a helping hand to someone else.

Until next time.....God Bless!

Mission Statement and Thoughts on Adventures in Prayer and Medicine

I originally wrote this in the fall of 2012 - had never written a personal mission statement before - with an update in the summer of 2013 at the end.  It's interesting what one is compelled to undertake when life turns upside down seemingly overnight....

Patient: 11/23/56: (cancer patients identify themselves by their birth date at each treatment visit)

As I faced a cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment in August 2012, I prepared a mission statement as I believe God allowed this into my life for reasons I may not understand, and so it’s up to me:

“To accept the privilege of walking in faith to learn what’s possible through the combined power of prayer and medicine.”

The reason that I am being so open about my condition is that if people don’t know, they can’t pray and I tell them:

“If you pray, please pray; if you don’t, please consider it – for maximum cure, minimal side effects, and, above all, that God’s Will be done”.

After all, the more people praying, the better the outcome!!!!  The cancer was gone before I knew I had it (it was found and removed during a planned surgery), and treatment was preventative.

I’ve also decided that I am not attending any pity parties on this adventure through Wonderland (yes I feel like Alice having fallen down the rabbit hole) so that I can capture the blessings along the way. And yes, there have been many already.

In early June of 2013, another rabbit hole opened up resulting in further surgery, radiation and a new site requiring care.  Hormone therapy this time so time to ramp up the prayers!  May I accept God’s will for my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health with a wise and understanding heart.

If this is my cross to bear, then so be it, may I do so with dignity, humility and grace.

……EDJ

Scan Results

It's been a wonderful weekend weather wise and lots of reasons to give thanks. We enjoyed turkey dinner with family and friends, had a leisurely motorcycle ride to Westport yesterdy and Mike came through his hip resurfacing surgery this morning without incident. He is resting comfortably and will be home within a couple of days.

For those of you who 'like the facts, and just the facts', my cat scan results indicated that the adventure continues. On the upside there is no spread to any other organs. The cancer is contained in the liver however there is evidence of growth in some of the cells with possibly new ones appearing. This brings into question the effectiveness of the current medication. I'm learning firsthand though, that as human beings, we are unique and distinct individuals and despite all the advances in medicine, we all differ in our responses and reactions. That means we are increasing the meds over the next two weeks with a further scan in two months. The main side effect is fluid retention resulting in weight gain. (20 pounds so far!)

A liver test was done today through blood work to get a baseline on how it's functioning and progress can be further monitored. It was also agreed that a consult would be in order to determine if any possibility exists for chemotherapy.

There is no possibility of a liver resectioning or transplant.

Overall, so far I feel great, take no pain medication for my back and only two other minor meds for -imagine - anxiety!!

For those if you who don't know, the problem with my liver was first identified when cat scans were done in June for a spontaneous fracture in my spine when the L1 vertebrae burst as I was going downstairs to the family room. Who would ever consider a broken back a blessing in disguise?!?!?

While I must admit the results today were somewhat disappointing, they were no where near devastating. In essence we are still on the same path we were last week and since medicine is doing all it can, the true blessings are in the prayers. I am convinced the reason I feel so well is the outpouring of support through prayers, best wishes and supportive messages that have literally come from around the globe.

We remain hopeful and optimistic knowing that whatever comes along, together as a family and larger community we can take on anything. I find magic in the most unlikely places. An example this morning when Mike was being prepped for surgery and his OR nurse turned out to be the same nurse, Andy, who was with my Dad when he passed away October, 2004. It was totally heartwarming and heaven sent that he would appear in our lives today.

In conclusion, I'd like to share an observation that validates my personal decision to 'put myself out there' in terms of asking for your prayers of support. When we find ourselves in difficult, life changing situations, survival mode kicks in and most of us need to let our world shrink to a size we can manage. That's okay for a while - a year in my case, but then we need to consider how our life intertwines with everyone else we know.

If you can imagine the globe as a giant pinball machine with a huge surge of positive energy created through prayer being sent in our direction. The interesting outcome is the ricochet effect back to the sender and onward to others. We continue to live every day, live the clichés, they are all true and we may still be 'rushing through life' had the 'Adventures in Prayer and Medicine' not come our way.

For those of you who have an interest in reading more, I will publish the mission statement I wrote last year when first diagnosed with high risk endometrial cancer
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Thank you, thank you, thank you. The emails have been washing over us like a waterfall and while I'd love to respond to each one individually, please know I've tucked your message into the envelope of my heart and treasure it dearly. Until next time. God Bless.....

Thanks for the Prayers

We are overwhelmed by the response we received to our request for prayers yesterday! Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to pause and remember us as we go through this milestone event. It's been quite the adventure in cancerland over the past year or more.

I don't begrudge anything I've been through and am trying to keep my faith over the weekend until we get the results on Tuesday. By asking for the best possible outcome in accordance with God's will for my life I am placing complete trust in Him. So be it. All the best for a Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for your support. Further update next week.