Greetings from Budapest

Greetings from Budapest!  For you who may not know, my heritage, yup the full 100% is Hungarian and in fact I spoke this difficult language before I spoke English.  It has been relaxing in hibernation for over 50 years but since our arrival has been blossoming like a curious child in wonderment at new discoveries.

A little more of an update on our trip shortly.  I've been trying to provide the medical update at the beginning of each post for those who are interested in the facts and just the facts without wading through the musings of my mind and heart.

Through March and April my back took exception to the workout we were engaged in and reacted with an acute flare up in the lower right sacral area.  It was so severe, I went to the doctor, thankfully had a routine follow up with both my orthopedic surgeon and my oncologist at the beginning of April to do a thorough review. My new friend Debbie, as you may have read, prayed over me at the silent retreat we attended in Pickering and the next day I no longer needed my cane and that specific, deep acute pain was gone and has not since returned like an unwanted houseguest. Still lots of work to do but major improvement.

Dr. B. viewed the X-ray, confirmed it showed nothing wrong with my back, but since that's what happened last year, after which the L1 vertebrae in my spine burst, he thought a cat scan was in order so we had that done on May 9th including from chest to abdomen. Within 3 hours Dr. B. was able to advise that the cat scan on my back was clear - no spots, no lesions - what great news prior to our trip! The results of the rest will be available on June 10th when I next visit my oncologist unless they phone with results.

I continue to feel well, my walking has improved dramatically since starting hydratherapy and being just plain stubborn. This despite the growing child that insists on traveling about with me wherever I go. In the next short while I think I need to give a name to this imaginary companion who can readily cause me to be out of breath or boost my blood pressure to levels my body didn't know existed. You realize I'm sure that I am referring to the medically induced weight gain through fluid retention.

In the last 7 months I have increased 50% of my former total body weight or 60 pounds!  As many say, it's like carrying around a six year old!

With my new very short hair cut and relatively recent roly poly look, I don't have to wear sunglasses to go incognito, people pass me everyday, many of whom I've known for years, without a second look!  It's quite an interesting experience.

The weather has been cool and often rainy since arriving here in one of the most beautiful capital cities in the world. Mike is such a good sport without a word of the language, but such an inherent gift of a sense of direction compared to his sometimes frenetic wife who can at least cobble together a sentence or two! We decided not to book activities into every day as we didn't want to miss the opportunities that would arise by happenstance or, as I believe, the Holy Spirit's guidance. We have a general sense of what we'd like to do but remain open to what's really in store for us.  I somehow thought I would arrive and have an epiphany of sorts, like a long lost traveller returning home and perhaps that is yet to come but so far it's been interesting and entertaining. Like when a sort of distant relative took us on a short car ride around the local neighborhoods. The streets are barely wide enough for one car, there are no stop signs and if you know Hungarians they speak as much or more with their hands while the mouth remains fully engaged as well. Here we were tearing around streets, making sharp turns without notice while he's explaining what's ahead, behind and to the left and right, all of course in rapid fire Hungarian.  If that didn't suit, a quick u-turn or three point turn, fully engaging sidewalks as needed in seemingly no space at all with cars coming at us, got us going in a new direction.  I could only make out words here and there while my aunt was trying to translate ending up speaking English to him and Hungarian to us!   Mike just kept repeating 'car coming, car coming' which received no attention at all. Welcome to Budapest. It was a most entertaining and fun
start to our adventure.

I've mentioned that this was a bucket list trip and, coincidentally, after a very full day yesterday, we relaxed to watch the only English speaking tv station and what movie would be playing, but The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman!  Mike was concerned it might hit too close to home but not at all!  In fact I could relate so much more with the story that, in the end, it has encouraged me to keep living my life, doing whatever seems fun and appealing and take the rest in
stride.

In the first couple of days here we met up with the son and daughter in law of a Kingston friend, both of whom happened to be here on a last minute vacation destination. We met for lunch, got first hand tutoring on the ease of the public transit system and a few tips on what to see and where to go.  Some people wonder why one would take the time to make such connections. We view it as part of the natural fabric of our lives as we weave together various relationships in seemingly unrelated little squares of the patchwork of Liz and Mike. On our way to meet we had the learning opportunity of getting on a subway that was artistically designed, less than a five minute ride depositing us on the other side of the city with ease and comfort. We were early we had a chance to walk around and discover a tiny little church that was reconstructed in the 1700's. Wouldn't you know two statues in a row included two saints through whom I've been praying for well over a year now, St. Anthony of Padua and St. Ignatius. Coincidence?  I think not!   I'd far rather believe it's God's way of showing me I'm on the right path in my life.  Aahh, a conversation for another post, some of the coincidences and symbols in my life that have brought peace and comfort.

Just before I sign off, I'd like to send all of you a very deep, heartfelt thanks for your support of the Relay for Life!  I kept increasing the goal thanks to your generosity and then decided we would leave
it $10,000.  Well at last count we are closing in on $13,000 which is well past our expectations. After I had sent out my requests for support, I came up with what you might think is a very morbid, grim reaping marketing strategy. Let's face it, it's the way you ask that brings results.  When I mentioned it
to Mike he thought it was quite funny and a friend said, 'Only you could get away with it'. So here goes:
' If you would consider making a memorial donation upon my demise, why not consider doing it now, while I'm alive'. 
I'm taking a chance here of offending people but as someone close reminded me, this is my space to share my thoughts and feelings and even I chuckle at the thought!  I'm thinking if I'm around next year and doing well, the strategy may have a fighting chance for wider publication!

I tried downloading pictures and saving them to my iPad but alas, haven't  the vaguest idea how to get them where I'd like on my post so for this time, we will have to go sans photos. If you've enjoyed this message, I'm pleased, and next time I will provide a more comprehensive overview of our experience without boring you with a slide show!!!!  What was very moving today was to hear my uncle's story  of being present during the Hungarian Revolution of 1956, as we were standing in the courtyard of the Parliament Buildings where much of the tragedy took place. In fact the damage from machine gunfire is still visible on the upper external walls of buildings as 100,000 people jammed into the square.  More on that next time. For now, God Bless...

Hugs,
Liz
dobbsjones@gmail.com
"Prayers wrapped in faith and sent with love are the greatest gifts we can receive!"

P.s. If you'd like to comment, feel free to email me as I understand the feedback option doesn't seem to work even though it's turned on.

The Experience of Living: A New Spring, Continued Hope

Wow!  Can two weeks have flown by already?  I guess that can happen when you allow new projects to continue to creep into a world that has shrunk so dramatically over the past year and a half.  Spring is here and the abundance of April showers has helped to wash away the dust and sand with Mother Nature doing her spring cleaning as surly as the seasons change.

Let's start by dealing with the usual medical update.  Surprisingly there were no doctor's appointments and I received a call that the cat scan was scheduled for May 16th but, oops, that won't work - more about why in a few minutes.  Spoke with the secretary who promptly had it changed to May 9th along with an appointment with the surgeon within 3 hours to review the results.  Talk about care and compassion to not keep someone waiting!

One of my gyney oncologists called yesterday in response to yet more paperwork that had to be filled out for the insurance company.

Imagine, he'd been away for a period of time, came back Monday to spend likely the day in surgery and by Wednesday to have time to start filling out paperwork for me and apologizing for bothering me with it!  How do these souls do it?  How can they be so highly skilled in artfully dissecting the human body, carving out only what's' necessary and so effortlessly move to completing administrative duties that most of us relish in pushing aside as long as possible!?

To this point I have not been anxious to ask what he puts in the blanks on these reams of forms that are churned out without any known hint of coordination or building on information already previously requested.  It just seems to be a never ending request for the story, the whole story and all the details previously submitted.

I may sound a little harsh in my comments and don't blame the individuals who are actually pushing these wheels but what I don't understand is why there can't be some kind of coordination similar to what is in most dentist's offices, enter some codes, add some notes if needed, press a button and zoom!  Off the document flies into cyberspace, caught miraculously by the same insurance companies that are dealing with medical issues.  Within a couple of days everything is settled without a backward glance.  But I digress, where this was going is what condition my physician reports to those who are inquiring:

I have metastatic endometrial cancer with spine and liver involvement.  I'm still going to carry around my own, altered picture of that description that doesn't include the spine and keep it lodged in my mind as a miracle since there was no pronounced tumour when they did surgery.
The doctors can draw the scientific conclusions they'd like and I will hang onto my faith by believing without having seen.


Easter has come and gone with the experience among all Christians that the miracle of the Resurrection really happened and we can count on and look forward to our own resurrection when the time comes.  You may have read previously that I receive spiritual direction on a monthly basis and our last conversation a week ago was highly insightful.  As much as God doesn't create difficult situations for us, He allows them into our lives with a view to helping us every step along the way to grow and evolve.

 If you can ever take the time for some quiet solitude, consider looking back on some of the most difficult situations in your life and as they wash over you, ponder what you may have gained as a result.  For example, in only the last few years, I learned that the greatest gift my mother gave me by leaving us to 'find herself',when I was five, is an ability to establish very close and deep relationships with women who are older than me.  Do they see that vulnerable 5 year old yearning for the love of a mother?  I don't really know but what I do know is that my life has been richer for it!

By the end of this past meeting, I left Phil, my spiritual coach with a slightly altered and improved view of my current situation.  If God uses times of difficulty, pain and suffering for our greater good, then I feel privileged.  Privileged you ask?  Have I lost my mind?  Yes, that He can put me through my paces with the full confidence that I am capable of using these experiences to do His work in the time I'm here on earth.  And no, because this adventure has been spiritual almost from the beginning.

I talked a little bit last time about the retreat I went on in early April and have learned more about a particular Bible story since then.  You may have heard about a woman, who bled for 12 years and, upon seeing Jesus, walking through a crowd, had faith such that if she simply touched the hem of his garment she would be healed.  And so it was.

At the retreat we were encouraged to put ourselves into the experience and simply be open to what we might see, feel or hear.  I've tried this before but probably tried too hard, typical for me.  But this time it was quite different.  I realized in the quiet solitude of my room and the greater silence enveloping us throughout the weekend that what this woman did was against the social standards of the day, the cultural mores of the times and, potentially against the law.

When I reflected on the story, the word 'courage' jumped out at me and it was from many people who were witness to the incident.  Here was an individual who had enough faith to go against the norm, break with tradition, take tremendous risk, trusting that the outcome would be in her favour.  And so it was.  Further, she had no idea of the effect she was having on the people around her, watching in awe, disdain and many other conflicting emotions, someone who dared to 'take a leap of faith'.  Hmmm is that where that saying comes from?  She would never know the positive impact of her actions on those around her and the ripple effect that could potentially carry on for generations.  She just knew she was doing the right thing (vs. doing things right!).

As the days continue to fly by,  my hope is that each of us can be open to those moments when we need to do what's right and have the courage to do so.

Before I sign off, there are two quick events I'd like to share with you although you've probably heard about one of them - that is if I have your email address!  We have booked a bucket list 3 week trip to Hungary for May 13th, the land of my heritage that I've never seen and will be travelling with my aunt and uncle who've been many times.

My goal is to gain an essence of the country that embraces my roots, the foundations of the culture that shaped our values and belief systems with a hope of a deep seated sense of familiarity.  Growing up in Canada as a first generation Canadian without extended family does have its challenges.  One is not aware of the deep, rich history of their past, the personalities from whom their own traits were drawn, and the true texture of their lives.  It promises to be a deeply moving and emotional experience that we look forward to.

Almost immediately upon our return, I will be participating in the 2014 Relay for Life at RMC here in Kingston on the evening of June 6th, in support of cancer care and research both nationally and here in Kingston.  That would be why, if you received an email from me requesting support, came out so early.  I had to get out there and shamelessly ask for help to raise money for a cause that I honestly never thought I'd be so closely aligned with.

Receiving a cancer diagnosis was never a major concern given that cardiac issues seem to dominate my family tree.  Yet here I am. In my belief that if you're going to commit and do something, you might as well give it your all, you would have received a plea from me!  The response so far has been overwhelming with almost $7,500 raised online.  If you have made a donation, many, many thanks, and if you haven't please consider it!  I have to ask, after all, you likely know I've been a professional fundraiser for over 14 years and volunteered long before that!

Simply go to:

p.s. my pledge goal is a placeholder only - let's hit it out of the park!  

Click here to visit my personal page.
If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:
http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR?px=5814463&pg=personal&fr_id=14852&s_locale=en_CA&et=GikQrtl3wl9zjdVypfv72Q

Click here to view the team page for UHKF - Ultimate Heroic Kancer Fighters

As someone once coached me when I was starting volunteer fundraising, just tell people:
"I owe you the opportunity to support this cause"!
From there leave the decision to the individual.

Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings and if I can get internet access without techno difficulty, I will next be posting from Budapest!

Take care, God Bless and if you're feeling down, just look around and do something for someone that touches your heart.
Hugs
Liz
"Prayers wrapped in faith and sent with love are the best gifts we can receive".