Mike arrived home on Thursday, October 17th and I played Florence Nightingale to his patient Patient. He is a physiotherapist's dream doing his excercises diligently, staples are out and he's walking with a cane.
A chemo consult yesterday provided a sense of direction and comfort that allows us to contemplate life a little further into the future and lifts a cloud of doubt that had been over us since late June. Without going into detail, an unfortunate situation left us contemplating the possibility of a shortened life span, likely less than a year. It was a premature conclusion that left us shaken and unsure. While life is a gift to be enjoyed in the present, as humans, part of what gives us hope and keeps us going is the notion that we have many tomorrows to look forward to. I too hope for many tomorrows to plan for and share with others.
The liver function test returned normal, so my medical team gave the nod for my daily glass of wine - just don't waste it on cheap wine they advised! We doubled the dose of meds again on the 15th and other than further fluid retention and weight gain, my system seems to be tolerating it well.
During yesterday's visit we learned that the dose I am currently taking is that which has been known to be effective in arresting growth of cancer cells. Sometimes it just takes longer than expected to kick in and take effect which is in line with the question as to its previous effectiveness. A further cat scan at the end of November will provide an update on whether it's working. The good news is that if it is effective, many patients can remain on it indefinitely. Let's hope and pray for that option - secondary of course to 'God's will for my life'.
In the event that the meds at this level are not holding, we have further options that include chemotherapy similar to the regime I went through at the beginning of this year. Possibilities also exist that clinical trials may begin over the course of this adventure and I would be considered a candidate.
I often think of the challenges we would be facing had we not had the facilities here in Kingston that we often take for granted.
We've had expert care from all levels of the health care teams. Receiving care is an interesting reflection of the level of expertise we have blended in with the sense of community that we enjoy.
One of the funniest experiences in this regard was during a stay last fall, a PCA who helped me shower used to be a professional colleague in a totally different setting. We giggled at how unpredictable it was that we would find ourselves in this new situation.
From there, having a room on Kidd 5 facing the water, I imagined myself aboard a cruise ship and asked the PCAs and nurses each day which ports we were entering, and what the on shore activity was. For those who played along, we had great fun!
As we face what we know to be an uncertain future, we are taking great comfort in the knowledge that there are so many individuals who really care. It's amazing sometimes how we run through life thinking we need to be independent and do everything ourselves when all we have to do is pause, take a breath and be open to those around us. I'm speaking of myself here of course, having lived a life of relative independence coupled with the notion that I had responsibility to direct the universe.
Now that all of that has been pulled away and there has been significant reliance on others, I've learned that sometimes our fierce independence robs others of being able to demonstrate kindness, affection and caring. And we in turn, have difficulty accepting such gestures when the reality is that the good works that individuals take on, both as individuals and in groups, extend far beyond the group and gently wash throughout the whole community. Good works beget good works and the light of God shines brighter than ever. I've learned when feeling down, the best antidote is to extend a helping hand to someone else.
Until next time.....God Bless!
I often think of the challenges we would be facing had we not had the facilities here in Kingston that we often take for granted. We've had expert care from all levels of the health care teams. Receiving care is an interesting reflection of the level of expertise we have blended in with the sense of community that we enjoy.
One of the funniest experiences in this regard was during a stay last fall, a PCA who helped me shower used to be a professional colleague in a totally different setting. We giggled at how unpredictable it was that we would find ourselves in this new situation.
From there, having a room on Kidd 5 facing the water, I imagined myself aboard a cruise ship and asked the PCAs and nurses each day which ports we were entering, and what the on shore activity was. For those who played along, we had great fun!
As we face what we know to be an uncertain future, we are taking great comfort in the knowledge that there are so many individuals who really care. It's amazing sometimes how we run through life thinking we need to be independent and do everything ourselves when all we have to do is pause, take a breath and be open to those around us. I'm speaking of myself here of course, having lived a life of relative independence coupled with the notion that I had responsibility to direct the universe.
Now that all of that has been pulled away and there has been significant reliance on others, I've learned that sometimes our fierce independence robs others of being able to demonstrate kindness, affection and caring. And we in turn, have difficulty accepting such gestures when the reality is that the good works that individuals take on, both as individuals and in groups, extend far beyond the group and gently wash throughout the whole community. Good works beget good works and the light of God shines brighter than ever. I've learned when feeling down, the best antidote is to extend a helping hand to someone else.
Until next time.....God Bless!
Hi Liz,
ReplyDeleteIt's heartwarming to see how the tender love of our father, the invasive touch of his spirit, are working their work in you, bringing you from glory to glory through the fires of this present affliction. The light in and through you shines brighter and brighter each day my sister and friend. You are so blessed and such a blessing! :)