OK, who put the world on warp speed over the last short while? Is this what it's like for the mature, ageing population? Is this somebody's joke about getting older? Did I walk through an invisible wall last Wednesday to enter a new parallel dimension where someone pressed a button and time sped up? Or could it be as Mike settles into retirement, and is around most of the time, simply the nature of his presence alters my perception of time? Certainly something to ponder. Nothing about this experience is negative in any way. Many days I wake up with the sense that we are 'playing' at life now, not having to report to someone, or somewhere, or somehow having to account for our time and activities.
You may know that on November 23, 2016 a new milestone was reached. One that I'm ever so grateful to have achieved. I'm almost as proud and excited to say "I'm 60" as I was to say "I'm 12" or "6 and a half"! There is almost a hint of magic in the air as the days go by, looking with new, cataract filled eyes at the wonder of the world around me. Oh, yes, I am going for a consult next Tuesday morning, to assess a cataract in my right eye that, hopefully, is 'ripe' for removal. Somedays I walk around like a one eyed pirate trying to get an idea of what's really in front and around me.
Next Tuesday afternoon, we meet with the 'symptom' doctor to discuss the results of the bone scan and cat scan, both done yesterday, December 1st. Unlike previous tests, I somehow have an air of freedom surrounding me rather than a sense of dread at what we may be told. My imagination is behaving in such a mature and thoughtful way, it deserves a gold star for allowing me to enjoy each hour in relative calm and peace. It's as though I've reached a new level of acceptance of what could be, while grateful for all that has been. Perhaps this is the secret to praying with indifference. Fret and worry will change nothing about what is to come, and, at the same time, wreak havoc on the day that is in front of us. By being indifferent and accepting of whatever is to come our way makes things much easier on us and everyone around us.
At my last doctor's appointment, when I was told most directly I was having the scans, I was also instructed to cease and desist the myriad of alternative treatments and therapies that I'd been exploring this year. Pool walking and walking outdoors were ok, all others are currently banned from my daily routine. Truth of the matter is that I didn't need to be told, I knew, that my body has likely become more than a little confused about what stimulation it needs to respond to at any given moment. What am I talking about? Ok, confession time. Back in February/March I started a treatment which is known to have the body go into self healing mode, I think it calls forth the parasympathetic system. During that time, I'd heard about another therapy to very naturally and gently treat pains of all sorts. Checking with the first therapist, yes it was complementary so ok to try. Try I did and went until early summer. With no dramatic, life altering results, we agreed to take a break and I would call to resume care. In the meantime I'd decided that acupuncture would almost surely be a further complementary service so did a few sessions to get at some of the nerve pain. Mind you, Mike and I have had acupuncture off and on for over 12 years now with generally positive results for certain acute symptoms. Oh, yes I must also throw in a few visits to a massage therapist.
Lo and behold don't we hear about a chiropractor with 'amazing' results so off we go and pay a visit. A visit you might ask? No, in fact it was a few months of visits and while helpful, my body wasn't really sure how to respond. Keep in mind that most of these therapies were being explored while in the midst of chemo treatments that lasted from March to early August. The problem with all of this is that my poor body is being led in many directions at the same time and possibly becoming totally confused along the way. Do I regret trying these services? No. Can I determine whether I'd have been better of not trying anything? No, and, in fact persevered under the premise that each and every treatment was providing some sort of healing benefit in the midst of the chaos of chemo.
What we've learned from this escapade of hear about, seek, try, and move on to something else, is that Mike and I seem to have a common interest in doing just that. Exploring alternative therapies to improve our overall health. After all, during the majority of our adult lives we'd both had benefits to cover some portion of the cost of such treatments, but rarely taken advantage of the opportunities. It's easily explained by the fact that we'd both been blessed with excellent health, full busy and active lives, hence, no sense of need of anything other than a routine annual checkup. Perhaps now is a bit of catch up time for good reason. We're not thirty anymore! When doing a little research on whether to avail ourselves of one type of treatment or another, we know full well that we're both going to try whatever it is and end up being treated simultaneously. Do you suppose we could call this behaviour a hobby? I sometimes wonder.
Another 'hobby', if I may address it that way, is to deepen my faith and build my relationship with Jesus. This is probably paramount in my life as time goes on; preparation for the greatest exam of my time on earth. Recently I spoke to a friend who I hadn't seen in at least a couple of years given my ever shrinking world of contacts. She pointed out how much she missed the discussions we used to have about the world as we don't know it. My words, not hers. We'd both watched a movie about metaphysics back then, and even organized a weekday brown bag lunch discussion with her colleagues, who'd also had an interest in the subject and seen the movie.
What I was able to share with her during our recent discussion is, at this point in my life the more I explore my faith, the more possibilities there are that the supernatural exists within the framework of God's universe. It's interesting to hear about the change that occurs within highly educated and trained individuals who take it upon themselves to 'prove' there is no God. In many cases, they work so hard at it, and explore so deeply, they research themselves to the conclusion of there being no explanation other than, there must be a God. Interesting huh? Personally, I thoroughly enjoy pondering and discussing such possibilities.
I'd like to end this post by sharing a portion of an article by Richard Cole, author of 'Catholic By Choice'. The article is called 'A Week of Gratitude: Grateful for Less'. It's from a daily message received on Ignatian Spirituality. It resonated so loudly within me, my plan is to practice it each and every day:
"I notice I'm saying a bit less these days, especially when I'm tempted to impress someone with a witty remark, light teasing, or something else that might be seen as impressive. I had my tongue and almost immediately I realize my remark may have just complicated the situation, leading to more chatter and useless agitation that the world really doesn't need. Less is better."
And on that note I look forward to sharing a further update in a couple of weeks. Take care, God Bless and the best for the Advent season. May you not be run ragged by the commercial trappings of the holidays.
Hugs,
Liz
dobbsjones@gmail.com
"Prayers wrapped in faith and sent with love are the greatest gifts we can receive."
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