I arrived back to the great white north late last Thursday after what appears to have been the coldest two weeks in Canada. Managing to get an Air Canada flight from Tampa to Toronto then on to Kingston was another adventure. With only an hour 20 to connect, I knew that I would have to deliberately keep myself as calm as possible especially once I learned the first leg of trip was delayed by 40 minutes. Oh joy. On arrival in Toronto, of course we had to retrieve our bags, go through security and customs only to learn that those with connecting flights were already assigned boarding passes for a later flight. This, after waddling as quickly as possible through the hallways, escalators and moving sidewalks, refusing to ask for any assistance while carrying two pieces of hand luggage which included a bottle of premium scotch from duty free for Mike which I couldn't afford to drop along the way! (A belated Valentine's present).
I would be flying out an hour later than I was supposed to be arriving at home. My mental coping mechanism is to work overtime to convince myself that I wasn't to be on the original flight, what's an hour anyway and they had things well in hand to make up for the delay. By the time we boarded the tiny aircraft where you get a window seat and an aisle seat at the same time, we were all ready for take off. At one point though, as we were taxiing toward the runway, the thought crossed my mind that we might actually be driving to Kingston given how long and far we travelled on the ground! Home at last though and truly no worse for wear.
I had debated whether to drive home with my friend Carol Ann as I've never made the trip by car but my inner sense convinced me to book a flight which was the smartest move for all concerned. Me, a self proclaimed neurotic passenger would have created no end of hazardous risks as I would be stomping on the imaginary brakes and likely flailing my arms like a madwoman trying to fend off approaching traffic.
As it turned out, Carol Ann's second day of driving was coated with freezing rain for most of the trip! She's was fortunate, for her sake, to have dropped me off at the airport three days earlier.
On Monday of last week, while still with Carol Ann in Treasure Island, by happenstance I emailed my friend Tess who I knew was travelling around the Southern States with a joint venture between the Snowbird Association and Medipac Travel Insurance. Tess' husband, Dr. Bob is one of the presenters for Medipac as they put on shows for Canadians who spend their winters in the Southern U.S. Another God Wink as she replied they would be doing a show the very next day just 10 miles from where we were staying. A cloudy day set us up for our adventure and off we went. It was a very professional presentation, the hall was so jam packed, people had to leave due to fire regulations before they could start and the second half was entertainment by Newfoundland comedian Jimmy Flynn followed by a performance by John McDermott all at no cost!
If you've never heard Jimmy Flynn and want to laugh, look him up on YouTube. I'd seen him in Kingston many years ago and have recited his jokes ever since! The insight I gained from making the effort is that we are all presented with circumstances that allow us to make our free will decisions about what we might do or what we might ignore. Here we had friends who were doing what they are passionate about, a mere 10 miles away and it would have been so easy to say no, but we are all so much richer for having said yes and intuitively I know our relationship has been strengthened by our expression of interest in learning more about what they are involved in. Never mind the fact that it was just so much darn fun!
While away, a very long time acquaintance of both Martha and me and resident in a nursing home, declined in health in what seemed to be such a gentle and dignified manner. Had she made it to her birthday in March, she would have turned 99 but it wasn't to be. With all the talk and media attention on 'assisted dying' of late, this real life story gave me lots to ponder about end of life issues. I will state my position that I do not agree with life ending intervention as I believe God has given us a certain number of days (ref: Psalm 139)
and we do not die one minute before or after the pre allotted time. Here was an individual, who through natural causes, was overcome with fatigue to the point of sleeping much of the time away to the point of not being able to take her medication. By not taking medication, whatever parts had been kept working would no longer be supported and the natural consequence would be eventual slowing and turning off of these parts, whatever they might be. No pulling of plugs, no deliberate injection, no heroic efforts or intervention. Just a natural way of slip sliding out of this world into the next. It was all quite peaceful.
As I think about my own mortality, I realize that for every day I live, I have one less day to live and am becoming more discerning about what I choose to do with my time.
Another individual passed away while we were gone but the celebration of life was on Saturday and my initial reaction was that I'd like to attend as I'd known this person too, for likely more than 20 years. As it turned out, an opportunity arose to spend time with 4 of our grandchildren all at the same time along with two of our kids. My self declared priority of family took precedence to the memorial service. I learned from that decision that as I get more comfortable and accepting of my new physical appearance, it is not necessary to keep on trying to do what I used to do which would include going to many functions and events out of a sense of community duty. My realization though is that I don't need to put myself in those situations anymore at the cost of awkwardness and lack of recognition. A sincere and well written card will be more than sufficient to express my sympathy to the family. Another step on the path of acceptance and moving forward.
Oh back to Florida again - this post is not in any logical order, but rather I'm submitting to the trains of thought chugging through my brain and running through my fingertips to the keyboard. I hope you enjoy the ride! One topic that seemed to keep coming up is traffic. When we go to church with Martha and Denis, we attend Our Lady of Light which is located in an area where two or three other denominations have also chosen to locate. This creates traffic patterns so congested that on Sunday mornings, the local police direct cars to avoid any unintentional collisions.
As we arrive, it warms the heart to witness so many people willing to make the trek to invest time in their faith and trust in God. A second and just as important an observation is the behaviour of drivers on the way out after the morning service. What can take 15-20 minutes to exit, is an orderly and extremely well mannered effort by all drivers to observe the 'zipper effect' of cars entering the exit line. Alternating vehicles allows for ease of traffic flow and reinforcement of treating others with care and respect.
The other observation of traffic may not seem as civilized and cordial. When riding with friends this time around, and I visited with three of them, the flow of traffic was a recurring theme of discussion. It seems that Florida has the craziest drivers in existence, but then, don't we hear that about many other places as well? What I realized though, is that Florida, unlike many places, attracts drivers from all across the U.S. and many parts of Canada as we all try to escape the cold.
Bring together a myriad of different cultures, driving patterns and habits, many more elderly drivers all doing their best to adhere to what may include different laws about driving and it's surprising that there isn't a far greater level of chaos.
As we move through the next couple of weeks, we will be in the middle of Lent well on our way to Easter Sunday on April 5th, traditionally the most celebrated holy day in the Christian calendar. More than Christmas? Yup.
There is even an urban legend out there to counteract the Lenten observance of giving something up that you particularly enjoy. Twenty five years ago, Tim Hortons came up with the 'Roll Up the Rim to Win' contest to encourage patrons to continue drinking their coffee and not give it up for Lent!
As I mentioned in my last post, there is a growing pattern of 'good deed doing' vs. fasting and abstinence during this important and holy time of year. My choice has been to try, each day, to do a deliberate good deed but not share it with anyone with the hope that I can work such activity into my daily routine without the need to brag about what I may have done. It's potentially a double edge benefit - doing good and expanding my muscles of modesty and humility. It can be anything - a card, a phone call, an offer of help or a meal, a kind word or compliment, maybe even a smile. Giving of oneself can often be more challenging than giving of one's resources. Sitting in the coffee shop of the Y on Friday was one of those eye opening experiences where the employees treat the guests with such friendliness and respect that I felt I was in the company of angels. Many of the individuals who came through had their own level of challenges and would likely be ignored or avoided in other surroundings. Not so at the Y, the warmth and caring atmosphere filled my heart with joy. I almost missed a good deed that day by hesitating, but by the grace of God I was given the perfect chance to do just the right thing.
Before I sign off, I hope you don't mind me sharing with you my observance of the progress of my stepdaughter Nathalie in the prime of her university experience. While we have many similarities, we also have our share of differences which I'm realizing adds to the richness of our relationship. When I met her at age 10, it was apparent that God had blessed Nathalie with a level of confidence that is not evenly distributed among the general population. There have been many times that I have secretly wondered how she might achieve her stated objectives, only to be surprised that things worked out in her favour as a result of her convictions and perseverance. I've learned to simply stand back and watch the experiences unfold as she works through her decisions and the potential challenges. This year she has been approved by the university and will be going with fellow students on a three week trip to China - yes of all places China.
Did I really think that would happen???? - glad I kept my reservations to myself! Approval has also been given to go on a first semester exchange this fall to Denmark! I know precious little about all the details because Nathalie has simply gone ahead and done what was necessary to make her dream a reality. The reason I choose to share this with you is that as I'm learning to let go of managing the universe, I have the benefit of seeing how others can and do take charge of their own future without the expectation that others will pick up the pieces as and when necessary. More power to you - you go girl!
As I take my leave, I wish you the best for the next couple of weeks and hope that even one comment made here may have held a message for you as we all continue on our path of life.
Enjoy the oncoming hints of spring and renewed hope.
Take care and God Bless, until next time,
Liz
"Prayers wrapped in faith and sent with love are the greatest gifts we can receive."
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