You might be wondering what this has to do with my medical update since I always try to do that first for those interested in how I'm doing health wise. Well, a lot.
Oh the stories can go on and it's only over time one realizes how such life experiences form the memories of a life well lived. It's not being bombarded with the latest techno gizmo or being frightened out of your wits by a 3-D movie. No, it's the slower, quieter place of spending time with those you love, and settling into a slower pace, made even better with time as we gently reflect on a simple life.
Once they were all up and Ryan came home, it became a free for all with delightful little girls insisting on playing hairdresser with us as clients, insisting on us watching them jump on the furniture and play with one another. Through all this, just turned sixteen Rylee was quite content to sit through it with the girls lovingly bopping around her. Krista and her Mike Jones, yes we both married Mike Jones within a year of one another (talk about a God Wink),, brought us up to date on their activities and life in general. We always seem to be able to settle in and blend like best friends and family do, caring deeply for one another. I have after all, known Krista and Ryan since they were four and two.
Every evening during the 6 o'clock news there is a segment showing 'Weather Wallpaper' where local citizens are encouraged to submit photos they've taken.
We arrived at Marie and Frank's in Kitchener and my room waited for us, still multi shades of muted blue (I still say they painted it blue for me as there is no blue to be found anywhere else in the house). We settled in, had a visit and sat down to one of Marie's usual delicious home cooked meals and even sat in the dining room, kitchen people that we are.
In the middle of dinner I had to excuse myself having eaten only a couple of bites, head to the bathroom feeling slightly queasy. Oh boy, don't tell me another episode is coming on I thought. Well, it goes from that to feelings of hot and clammy like a perfectly cooked escargot (thought I might as well keep to a cooking theme on that one). From there the pain starts to radiate to my back, and lately, my abdomen, increasing as time goes on. And guess what? I forgot to pack any breakthrough pills despite thinking of it several times while preparing. By late evening I even contemplated going to Emerg just to get some hydromorphone but didn't and boy did I tough it out overnight. Finally by 3 a.m. I found the least uncomfortable position and got to sleep, somewhat fitfully. Thoughts had crossed my mind to simply head home the next day.
Morning arrived and surprisingly I felt much better but decided to call my family doc to see if there was a possibility of them faxing a prescription to a local pharmacy for a tiny supply of pain meds. Even though the phone message stated no prescriptions by phone, my nurse called and simply asked what pharmacy to send it to. My hero!
Off to Goderich and a most pleasant day with Pauline and Ed, my son Matt's godparents and Ed, a long ago one time boss of mine, at the bank. Some little piece of my heart has remained there in their, two century by now, old farmhouse. A sense of belonging and being home.
It doesn't hurt having a sand beach on Lake Huron not far off downtown except of course, August 21, 2011 when Pauline and I were downtown when the now infamous tornado hit, smack in the middle of the Square.
I can remember heading for the basement in the bookstore once we realized what was happening, only to have to pee in the dark, unfamiliar room. Always did have to, when I was terribly frightened.
It doesn't hurt having a sand beach on Lake Huron not far off downtown except of course, August 21, 2011 when Pauline and I were downtown when the now infamous tornado hit, smack in the middle of the Square.
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| Just around the Square from where Pauline and I were |
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| Arial view of the Square. It used to be full of mature trees in the centre around the courthouse |
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| Liz with drunken hobo and his donkey |
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| Liz with Sir John A. |
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| Liz with Fishermen |
We even did the annual routine of going around to the concrete statues crafted by Ed's grandfather and still standing guard around the property. Poor Matt, he had to endure being dragged around to pose with the fishermen, the drunken hobo with his donkey, to Jack and Jill holding up a long ago tennis net, only to name a few. This time, I resumed his position!
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| Mike with Pauline & Ed |
Back to Kitchener, thanking God for feeling reasonably well all day, to go out to a little tavern with live music you could even carry on conversation through, to enjoy a dinner of schnitzel and kraut. Oh ya right. I think I ate two bites and couldn't down a third. Well that's ok, good leftovers for Frank for Friday.
Our plan was to get to Guelph early on to have a good long visit with Ryan and Niki, their three girls five and under and Krista, Mike and Rylee. We had to text them twice to say we'd be later even though this was one of the highlights of our visit, meeting 10 month old Isabelle for the first time. To help with context, Krista and Ryan are our oldest stepkids, of my late husband Rick with whom we enjoy a casual but loving relationship. Before landing there though, we stopped off at our friend Diane's who also has moved to Guelph in the last couple of years and has been urging us to use her place as a base to visit from.
A retired nurse of forty years, Diane switched into care mode, settling me into bed insisting I rest before going to Ryan's. A welcome suggestion and one which helped me get through the balance of the day. We arrived at Ryan and Niki's to a quiet house with Lauren at school and Grace and Isabelle enjoying an afternoon nap.
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| Ryan flanked by Mike Jones' |
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| Krista, Liz & Niki |
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| Ryan with his Girls Grace, Lauren on his back and Isabelle at his knees |
Once they were all up and Ryan came home, it became a free for all with delightful little girls insisting on playing hairdresser with us as clients, insisting on us watching them jump on the furniture and play with one another. Through all this, just turned sixteen Rylee was quite content to sit through it with the girls lovingly bopping around her. Krista and her Mike Jones, yes we both married Mike Jones within a year of one another (talk about a God Wink),, brought us up to date on their activities and life in general. We always seem to be able to settle in and blend like best friends and family do, caring deeply for one another. I have after all, known Krista and Ryan since they were four and two.
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| Rylee with Lauren |
Arriving home Saturday needless to say I was spent, and Mike ended up going off to a birthday party on his own. Sunday I managed to get to church then slept away most of the rest of the day realizing something was up health wise. Before bedtime I emailed my oncology nurse to outline the pattern of the past few days asking for advice on next steps.
Next step was an appointment at the clinic Tuesday morning. On entering the exam room after greeting 'the team', meaning me, Mike and our expert retired nurse friend Tess, my oncologist looked at me and announced 'you are officially jaundiced'. Combine that with much darker pee (no need to get too clinical about 'urine'), itching all over which has been harassing me for over a month, added pressure in my abdomen, more regular feelings of queasiness, increased pain and bloodwork to confirm there is a blockage to the bile duct.
My old normal would be in panic mode by now but thanks to my increased trust in God, I could 'feel' imaginary cards being laid on a table singly and individually stating all the facts.
- Signs of blocked bile duct - not necessarily liver failure - huge difference.
- Need to determine cause of block - schedule cat scan this week or next - still waiting for call as requisition was rated urgent.
- Will base next steps on results of scan, possibly including chemo to reduce size of mass if it is the culprit - makes good sense to me and I'm open to it.
- Could consider going on hormone treatments like in the past - NO - would rather be on chemo than piling on so much weight as to reduce quality of life beyond chemo effects. Not a chance. I will still only live the number of days God has allotted to me and our decisions only affect the quality of the journey so NO I will not travel with Maggie again (the 80 pounds I gained last time on hormone treatments).
- May have to consider a stent or shunt to open up bile duct which hopefully could be done on the inside. Failing that may have to consider outside but would not fit with my lifestyle as it would mean an exterior drainage bag. Ok, well that's card number four and no need to play it just yet. Will live well in the meantime.
This week has been less active than others but many at this end would argue that. Oh well, less for me but more enjoyable. Settling into less on the calendar leaving more room for surprises during the day, walking into surprises and activity I may not even have thought of. What has been very evident are the God winks of late. Oh my. It's like He's saying "You're finally starting to get it! And the more you get it, the more this will happen." I've had feedback from those who like, believe and are interested in God Winks so I will close by sharing a couple.
Every evening during the 6 o'clock news there is a segment showing 'Weather Wallpaper' where local citizens are encouraged to submit photos they've taken.
They may include weather happenings, nature, wildlife and the like. You've probably seen something similar. Well, the day I got the feelings of 'getting it' was the day the photo of the day was, guess what? Yup, a bumble bee on a flower!!!
On Tuesday on the way home from KGH I commented on a car being a Mustang but no horse on the grill. Mike went into a story of how they have brought out a special version of the car without any markings of a Mustang other than on the gas cap. How they've named it after somebody's wife (guess I wasn't listening closely enough at that point) and how it comes only in dark green to honour the Mustang driven by Steve McQueen in the 1970's movie Bullit. Driving on, it caught up with us and passed us on the four lane section, Mike could confirm all of it when he saw the car. It's just out I think for 2018. Ok so? Later that evening, during my putter time I picked up a tiny spiral bound notebook I'd been carrying around for over a year in my purse. Flipping through it I came across notes which could only have come from a movie night at church. A phrase stuck out "God reached him at the top of his game." The aha moment for me was realizing it was the trailer from a movie put out last year called Steve McQueen - American Idol and how in his later years found Jesus Christ. Now isn't this a God Wink and a sign we are to watch the movie together? Mike totally agreed.
On Thursday I was to pick Mike up at the Mazda dealer since he was kind enough to take my car in for a recall. It was going to be two hours so I agreed to pick him up, totally confident in where I was going. I happily drove his great big new(er) Ram pickup, but as I got closer, realized the dealership I was thinking of was in fact KIA. Oh boy, did a quick U-Turn trying to think of where in fact the Mazda dealer is. Totally baffled, I pulled into a parking lot to text Mike asking where he was. Head down, tap, tap, tap. Ok now wait. Looked up and straight in front of me was the road sign for Mazda, literally one building between us. I had a good laugh at myself over that one.
We went downtown to complete an errand and once there, I commented on how I'd forgotten to put out my Parking Angel. Mike said it might better be a big one to park the truck. We turned onto King St. in the block of the store we were aiming for but of course no open spots let alone a big one. He dropped me off, I said I'd keep a lookout and meet him in front of the store. He'd barely turned the corner to go around the block when a vehicle pulled out. A big vehicle. I raced into the parking space, pulled out my phone to text "Come back, now, I'm holding spot. Big spot". Almost in slow motion another spot came open, a car pulled up to go in and right behind them was Mike! I stood there in my bright pink t-shirt waving him in. Virtually in front of the store! Those who know me well know about my legendary Parking Angel. Those who believe and remember to ask, will be amazed at the results. She's been around for many years now, since the days I took my 96 year old friend shopping and to lunch back in the early 2000's. All I can say is try it!
It's been an overcast morning today but as I put the finishing touches on this post, the sun has burned away the clouds making for yet another day of glorious sun and heat. It's also going to likely be the last outdoor pool day so off to Carol Ann's outdoor heated pool to enjoy the remnants of summer.
p.s. I think it's taken me as long to put the photos in as to write the post!!! I should get one of the little ones to help me.
p.s.s. Mornings have become very slow for me. Since I have pool plans for this afternoon, I asked Holy Spirit to help me out to have this finished by noon. Had I not poked around with the photos for so long it would be done right on the schedule I requested. Thank you Jesus. God is good.
Take care, hugs and God Bless,
Liz
dobbsjones@gmail.com
"Prayers wrapped in faith and sent with love are the greatest gifts we can receive."
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