Happy Valentine's Day - yesterday! Before we headed out for our various activities, I thought it best to check in with Mike about how we might celebrate the day this year. First off, 'Did you get me a card?' 'No'. 'Well if you haven't, I won't either'. There is good reason for this question. I may have shared with you before about how we were in Florida a few years ago on Valentine's Day and I was the only one who hadn't bought a card, for Mike. Feeling badly, while heading home, I couldn't resist poking around in the Duty Free at the Florida airport. In an effort to release the guilt of not buying a card, and maybe staying a week longer than Mike, I did the next best thing. I approached the cashier, carefully cradling in my arms, like a rare artifact, a bottle of rare, exclusive scotch. Needless to say Mike was a little more than pleased with the gesture. I'm not sure he even remembered not getting a card!
This year we simply went out to Swiss Chalet, like many other seniors, although we didn't have any discount coupons in hand. That's going to take more practice. As we were leaving, I wished an elderly lady Happy Valentine's Day as she was seated alone in the booth behind us. She broke out in a delightful smile and we exchanged greetings. Mike asked if I knew her from church, to which I replied 'No, I don't know her at all.' He just laughed saying 'You'll speak to anybody.' That's true and a trait I wouldn't trade. Valentine's Day, like many other significant dates on our calendars can leave some people sad and wanting of even a glimmer of friendship.
The feeling of being able to go out in the middle of the day to do whatever we want still seems like a novel idea and one we enjoy, almost as much as being on vacation. After all, this way we get to sleep in our own bed each night after a day of adventure.
February brought with it, my second cataract surgery on the 7th and again, I looked forward to the day with anticipation. I came through without incident, as did the first, and in some ways easier, having already travelled this path just a couple of weeks earlier. Another week of being relatively careful will be followed by a visit to the Optometrist for new glasses as required. I suppose if I had opted for the 'Cadillac' of lenses for the surgery, I wouldn't need glasses at all, in fact they spoke about it during the initial consult. My decision though was based more on what is a reasonable expectation at my age and circumstance in life, rather than fussing about whether I'd need glasses at all. I thought seriously about the millions of people who have no access to vision care having to simply live with whatever their conditions, without the hope of correction. As for me, I am content with the middle of the road option of treatment and still be eternally grateful for the improvement in my eyesight.
The past couple of weeks have been a time of being able to reach out to others and consider how I might be helpful to them, in the simplest of ways. It's far too easy to avoid going out, remain cocooned in the warmth of our own home and let the world go on without our direct participation. As I continue to practice Ignatian Spirituality, looking for God in all things, it seems like I'm slowing down enough to catch up with many of life's cliches like 'Stop and Smell the Roses'. The reward is to become much more aware of the world around me, living deliberately, observing my own behaviour and reactions with a view to how I might improve each and every day.
It may seem like I'm rambling on without purpose, so I will share an example that might help. One of the few wrinkles in Mike's retirement has been the revision of his benefits, moving from active employment to retiree status. Without going into a lot of detail, I had reason to call the Benefits Administrator for the third time, in an effort to get a document outlining his retirement benefits, rather than the one page program outline at a glance. Twice previously, from two different people we received a 34 page outdated photocopied document. Can you hear the thoughts rambling around in my head? Ok, 'strike three and you're out'. Or, 'how can this company provide this kind of information'? Maybe giving them a piece of my mind on how I think the company should be run and on and on and on. As it turned out, my new found practice of seeing God in all things, was to figure out how I might work with whoever took my call, to improve the system at least a tiny bit. The individual was polite and professional and within about 3 minutes directed me to a website outlining exactly what I was looking for! We discussed how this information might be passed along to employees and retirees and, how his colleagues might benefit from receiving an update when responding to such inquiries. Would I have felt better after that phone call had I blown up and steam rolled all over this person at the other end of the phone? No, and in fact I would have gone into an age old pattern of feeling badly, wishing I had behaved more respectfully. Instead, we both hung up feeling good about what we'd accomplished. I know this may sound petty and hardly worth discussing, but to me, it's these tiny moments that build up on a daily basis shaping us as individuals and how we see, and treat the world.
A few days ago a friend called to ask if I could drive her to the Eye Clinic. When I asked how she would get home, she said she was trying to find someone else to take her home so as not to keep me waiting. Imagine that! Not only was I pleased to have her think to ask, I was happy to have time for a visit on the way and while waiting for her procedure, and again on the way home. We even stopped to do a couple of small errands. Here is another warm and friendly relationship that finds a special place in our hearts as we let it takes its own course. Maybe it's an example of the rhythm of life we experience, like a graceful waltz, going with the music, if we just let it. Often we end up tripping over our own feet while trying to force things into the way we expect them to happen. In trying to explain this concept, an insight is forming about friendships and relationships. It has been sitting patiently in the back benches of my mind simply waiting its turn to be recognized and brought forward. I've long felt awkward about getting together for a visit without a purpose. Something like going out for a walk without a destination. While part of it has to do with the self imposed view of being a human 'doing', there's something more than that, deeper, and I may not be able to uncover it just yet. Suffice it to say, it seems to me, some of the most fun can be had in the midst of doing something together with someone else. It's where the greatest joy and lasting memories may be disguised as mundane or routine activities.
I'd like to close by inviting you to think about what kinds of relationships bring you the most joy. Is it just sitting together enjoying a coffee, tea or glass of wine? Or are you driven to stay active either through sports, crafts or other activities? You may be blessed with a large extended family which provides friendship in a totally different way. Thank you for taking time to read my thoughts and I welcome the opportunity to write another post in a couple of weeks, God willing.
Take care and hugs,
Liz
dobbsjones@gmail.com
'Prayers wrapped in faith and sent with love are the greatest gifts we can receive.'
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please feel free to submit a comment about my posts.