'Fitting' Coincidences of Life

Oh how the world changes around us in what seems like a heartbeat.  Here I am sitting at my MacBook computer with my almost 4 year old granddaughter next to me sitting at my IPad munching popcorn as she watches various YouTube videos with great intensity.

Just like we were limited in our TV watching, so too are children today being limited in their use of technology.

On Ella's arrival in Kingston this afternoon I was treading water in my friend Carol Ann's heated pool.  Over the past couple of weeks, my hour and a half at the Y has turned into much longer sessions in the backyard pool of another little piece of heaven, like 2 or 3 hours!  Last November when I started the pool routine, I'm not sure I could tread water for 10 minutes.  After all I had never taken swimming lessons nor ever really learned to swim with any decorum or grace.

My comment has always been "I couldn't swim to save my life" as panic would set in quickly and I'm sure I'd be gone.  Yet it reminds me of being on a catamaran years ago in Hawaii, virtually in the middle of the ocean with greater courage than caution and leaping off the deck without even a life jacket on so as not to miss out on the fun that everyone else was having. Never mind the ocean current or my lack of ability to necessarily be able to swim back to the boat but somehow I made it.  I grew up on Lake Erie where a sand beach could be accessed within 10 minutes in just about any direction.  With the gentle sloping of the beach far into the water, you never had to be concerned with going in over your head so who needed to swim?  Jumping, splashing around, hand stands and somersaults were sufficient entertainment.  

With my third priority being taking as good care of myself physically as I can, water therapy has become my primary focus.  The physical limitations that challenge me on a daily basis need a disciplined and determined mind set to keep in check.  Had I retained my excellent health that I enjoyed before these adventures, on retirement I know that keeping physically fit and active would be a priority and built into my daily routine.  I'm just getting a chance to develop that routine a couple years earlier than planned.

The regular long distance walking I used to do, easily an hour and a half at a time, my seemingly boundless energy and overall health has allowed me to slide down these rabbit holes and climb back out without a lot of signs of obvious 'illness'.  Now what I do, in part, is play head games with myself to trick my brain into thinking it's got to provide lots of positive endorphins in response to my daily exercise routine.  I think it's working although typically resultant weight loss doesn't seem to be on the horizon.

Not identifying with my illness also helps as I look out the window of life and see more than a dark cloud of impending doom as a result of a cancer diagnosis.  It's under control, the meds appear to be working, the side effects are not devastating, all of these things allowing lots of sun to shine through that window.

It's a whole different way of living, which if one can accept it,  many days can be much easier than what was, with every day being a marathon of sorts in an effort to achieve goals, deadlines and other worldly expectations.

This new life allows for lots of quiet and what I believe as the Voice of God to come through and help guide my path.  An invitation to lead my days results in very interesting so called coincidences that may not otherwise happen, or perhaps I simply wouldn't notice.  If you're open to what might be possible and believe that each day works out exactly as it's supposed to, I think you'd be surprised at the outcome.  What I'm finding is that the smallest of incidences can take on the greatest importance.  An example:  last week on our way back from Ottawa on the bike we agreed to meet for dinner at Rose & Crown.  As we sat down, I noticed two ladies from our church at the booth across from us.  One gestured me over to say "we've been out today and talked about how I wanted to get in contact with you (you being me) to ask some questions about your health".

It's as though the pieces of the day were put together like a cosmic jigsaw puzzle allowing us to connect for her benefit. I no longer dismiss such events as minor daily happenings but rather express gratitude for being able to see how such a small thing can positively impact someone else's life.

Another example: on my way to the pool I stopped to mail some cards dropping them in an outdoor mailbox.  On returning to my car I met a friend whose husband passed away quite suddenly in the last couple of weeks.  I've been meaning to contact her - like we all do in such cases - and while I had gone to the funeral, wanted to connect more personally.  We had a brief but meaningful chat and she surprised me with what I consider to be an absolutely inspirational healing tool.  Almost immediately after her husband's death, she decided to attend the Sacrament of Reconciliation (confession) and went to a priest she doesn't regularly see.  Her description of how he walked her through the natural, unwarranted feelings of guilt by gently asking questions, allowed her to release an enormous amount of grief rather than churning the irrational responses and creating a reality of self doubt that was unwarranted and undeserved.

These little chance meetings and conversations can actually turn out to be the most important ones of our day.  I'm curious about how, when we look back on our lives once we reach the other side, we will be surprised by what made up the true essence of our lives and what parts were just chaff soon to be blown away by a gentle breeze.  If you have an interest in such ponderings, there is a fabulous little book called 'When God Winks' written by SQuire Rushnell (yes it's a capital Q as well), who was once the head of ABC Broadcasting.

 His position is that there are no coincidences in life, only signposts put out by God to guide us along our journey.  It's a truly heartwarming book that I find makes our search for the meaningful in life much easier.  We are not all meant to become rich or famous or even make a profound impact on the world around us.  Rather, the magic of life happens in the ordinariness of daily routines.

A good way to illustrate these concepts is to share with you a response I received to an earlier post.  I think I've received permission to share although there are no names so privacy remains protected. The main reason that I would like to share is how touched I felt by reading part of someone else's story and the powerful impact it's had on the author as a result of taking time to reflect on their own life.

"I had a lot of lying around time to fill in, which got the brain twerking, and I started to think about your thoughts on “Richness in Scarcity” from a couple of blogs ago. The example of the simple apartment really overwhelmed me as well. It set me to thinking about my own personal experience, which I would like to share.

I come from what could be considered a lower working class family. Neither of my parents had any significant schooling. My dad left school at age 14 to work full time to help support his mother and two sisters after his own father died from wartime injuries, subsequent to returning from action in France (WW1).

He worked hard all his life, various laboring jobs (sometimes two) never owned a house or car, didn’t believe in credit (different times of course) and never “wished” for anything he couldn’t afford or didn’t need. 

After he passed away in 1995 (4 years after caring for my mother for three years through her own illness) I was tasked with clearing out his apartment. I was visiting Liverpool, from Canada, and had less than 2 weeks to complete the mission. I was taken by how organized he had been. How simple and utilitarian all seemed. No duplication, no waste, no extravagance, just the signs of a well-planned, and comfortable, lived life.

My dad was very proud of his three kids, was contented in his faith (Roman Catholic), totally accepted his social position in life and all that God had bestowed on him. He was a happy, positive man, always with a smile and a joke. He was loved by all those around him.

So when I reflect on your “Richness in Scarcity” and compare my own life’s scramble for success (and resultant accumulation of “stuff” etc), to his, I now wonder, deep down, just who was the real winner?

Thanks for inspiring me to contemplate this during my own unusual circumstances which allowed me a lot of time to reflect.

And thanks for allowing me to share my thoughts on the subject.

My hope is that you've had your heartstrings pulled like I did after reading this story.  I have a sense of familiarity with many parts and have often said about my own Dad that while he never was rich financially, he was a millionaire with the way he lived his life.  Within his own means and truly wanted what he had rather than having what he wanted.

My plan was to share some thoughts about a 'competency model' that I quite like but will save that for another post, another day.  I hope that you are enjoying your summer, time with family and friends along with some solitude and time for reflection on those things important to you.

Take care and God Bless, 

Lots of hugs,

Liz

dobbsjones@gmail.com

"Prayers wrapped in faith and sent with love are the greatest gifts we can receive".