Here we are mid December having arrived in a flurry of activity yet somehow feeling slightly ahead of the annual priority juggling, while the material world vies for our full and total attention. Something which is helpful, to me at least, is a strong reminder, we are actually in a period of waiting, of joyful anticipation to celebrate and welcome the most popular birthday recipient of all time. I'm not sure why this year it's in the forefront of my mind rather than the usual trappings of the holidays. Maybe I'm getting better at 'Keeping Christ in Christmas', or acknowledging He is the 'Reason for the Season'. However you look at it, I like it!
It's been fairly quiet on the medical front with one round of chemo, a cat scan without results and a general feeling of wellness. Having said that, I was surprised when I was approached during my last session of chemo to say my hemoglobin was low (regular is between 120-150); mine was at 89. This puts me at risk of not being able to get treatment. The typical remedy in a situation like this is to give a transfusion. As it turned out, given my energy level (high even for me!), it was decided to leave well enough alone given my pep and see what the blood results are this coming week. Seems how I'm feeling is considered more accurate than a report. After all, reports can say anything, and anything is possible with prayer!
A more detailed update will follow as we close the year at the end of December. I've had a meeting with myself and Mike, to accept whatever the results are when we get the summary of the cat scan on Tuesday. I don't want to hang in anticipation of what it might say, good or bad and then react badly if the news is less than positive. After all, we are not at the end of the road of options. It would just become a new reality, another adventure on this path. I summarize it this way; Can you imagine what life may have been like had I taken the initial diagnosis and moaned, groaned, cloaked myself in self pity and worn my illness like a rain soaked overcoat despairing over every event along the way? Instead we've had six years of living life every day well until I'm not and then dealing with it! We've created lots of memories and lived lots of life along the way.
The last couple of weeks have been sprinkled with lunch and dinner out with friends, visits and making lots and lots of candy. You've heard about my one and only holiday and year round effort at being a domestic diva. It is to make the best peanut brittle one can ever taste thanks to Doris Lloyd, my Dad's dear friend of many years. She taught me how to make it and now I make it for her given she's 96, living in a long term care home. What a heartfelt turning of the table. Of course a quick story is coming here......I've written before about a Nun at the Motherhouse whose only wish last Christmas was peanut brittle, and she was 99! This year I decided to ask permission from my dear friend Sr. Patricia Ann (Sr. P.A. as we affectionately call her) if it would be ok to make a batch just for Sr. Benilda. Before I had a chance to ask, Sr. P.A. call me a couple of Fridays ago to say Sr. Benilda passed away a month after her 100th birthday. There was to be a visitation attended by her 4 nieces from Winnipeg and B.C. followed by a Funeral at the Motherhouse the next day. Over the weekend I pondered what I might do to honour this fan favourite. I felt a nudge to consider something but was held back by feelings of vanity. After all, who am I to think it might mean anything to anyone to insert myself during their grieving bearing gifts of candy?
Understanding protocol, I called Sr. P.A. on the morning of the visitation to see if my idea was at all appropriate. After we talked back and forth, she agreed it would be lovely to drop by and would meet us at the door. Thankfully I had made several batches of this 'caramel gold' that very morning and made up four little bags for the nieces with a tag 'In memory of Sr. Benilda' along with a larger sack for the Sisters in general. We were ushered to the front of the Chapel, paid our respects and were introduced to the family. Sr. P.A. of course did so with grace and dignity explaining our connection to their beloved aunt. As I handed each one their token of appreciation, in turn, they started to cry saying they had heard about and one had even had the delight of tasting a few morsels. The reaction was so touching, I was almost overcome with joy to realize what an impact such a simple act could have. One of the nieces actually asked to set up an arrangement where she might order it and I ship it to her in Winnipeg. Oh my! As it happened two priests were present at the time, commented on how 'sweet' the gesture was but also said they didn't know I made peanut brittle. My reply was 'It's there for the asking', their response? 'Consider yourself asked'. Too funny. I'm not sure I can impart the overall feeling of true grace we felt during such a brief exchange. For me it was a big, bold step in presuming my actions would be welcomed by the Sisters, even with Sr. P.A.'s nod of approval. All I can say to you is when you get those gentle nudges, remain open, pay attention, and most importantly act when it feels right.
Last Sunday, I was invited to Matt and Jaclyn's to build and decorate a gingerbread house with Ella. On arrival, Christmas music was playing, the three of them were decorating their very first Christmas tree, enjoying every moment of creating a new tradition together. At one point, Matt and Jaclyn, and even I turned away from the tree decorating to do some small task to which Ella reacted by saying "Do I have to decorate the tree by myself?' Oh, my out of the mouths of babes as they say! I have shared the same feeling many times over the years and quickly reassured her it was not the case and how having to decorate by yourself can be no fun. I felt it was important to acknowledge her feelings. There of course can be times when such an activity, on your own can be peaceful and almost restorative, yet most of us clamour for the participation of others closest to us when decorating a Christmas tree. Together we completed the task despite heroic efforts in trying to affix the star at the top which decided it was not the star for the job!
As we built the gingerbread house, Matt assisted with his engineering prowess (after all he has a B.A. in Social Sciences lol) but left the construction to us. It was delightful to have the building come together and have Ella wear the 'white hat', leading the way in architectural design. Oh my, I just realized I didn't take a photo of the final product to share with you. Oh well, I leave it to your imagination to see it with your mind's eye. Matt's comment as I was leaving summed up the afternoon we shared 'It's the most Christmas spirit I've seen since leaving home.' I couldn't agree more as he and Jaclyn settle into their married life together.
Today is the 27th birthday of my favourite identical twin sisters, Michelle and Paige Kasaboski and tomorrow is Michelle's second Christmas concert, this year at the Grand Theatre. She not only has a beautiful voice, a bit like Karen Carpenter, she plays music and has written a number of songs. Sister Paige is the Producer to Michelle's lead on vocals and tomorrow will definitely be a highlight in sparking the festive season. A number of years ago I was asked to be their sponsor for Confirmation in the Catholic Church. During the ceremony, as the candidates line up to be confirmed, the sponsor stands behind with a hand on their shoulder. As the Bishop confirmed one of the twins and moved to the next, I too moved to the next. With a twinkle in his eye, his Grace looked at me to say 'Oh, you're doing double duty today'. I agreed and have been privileged to know these girls and their older sister since they were about 8 years old and watch them grow and mature into lovely young women.
I will leave you with a wish for you and yours to enjoy the next couple of weeks with family and friends. May you share with one another a deep sense of loving community, whatever your circumstances. I wish you good health and peace in your heart. I know the end to our year is better the more we let God take charge - for a change. All the very best and I hope to be back on New Year's Eve.
Take care, hugs, God Bless, and Merry Christmas
Liz
dobbsjones@gmail.com
"Prayers wrapped in faith and sent with love are the greatest gifts we can receive."
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