A Friend of a Friend of a Friend in Doing Good Things

I just arrived home from Mass with thoughts percolating in my brain like an overdue coffee pot eager to pour forth its contents. Maybe once or twice before did I take out pen and paper during the homily making notes to share with others.  Today was one of them given the content of the message.

You may remember at the end of my last post I talked about how important immigration is to Canada even in this world of protectionism and how we need to make a conscious effort to be helpful and inclusive.  Today's sermon at church was about being missionary disciples.  We all have images in our minds about what missionaries do, typically in third world countries, helping to establish an infrastructure, learning and in most cases teaching the word of God.  Disciples, we may not all be clear on what they do.  By definition they follow the way of Jesus or Teacher.  Ok I know you might be prepared to sign off right about now but I promise this post is not about preaching to you but rather sharing my own learning and the impact is has on my outlook.  So if you can, stay with me a while longer.

I've spent the last couple of weeks practicing mindfulness, remaining in the moment, staying inside of myself and examining what is going on around me and how it's affecting my thoughts and emotions.  While doing this, external forces have been created, as though to chip away at me, carving off past views of myself which are no longer valid.  It's like I'm being carved into who I am meant to be for the upcoming phase of life.  It's quite amazing how much stress is relieved by not jumping into the future creating anxiety, or diving into the past and stirring up regret.

In all of this, my mind often wanders to the place of what should I being DOING.  In these moments, I've been gently tugging my thoughts back in to remind self, if I'm not sure, just BE, do what works for you to clear your mind.  For me it's praying or repeating a Psalm refrain over and over in my mind. (I most often use 'This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad') All the while waiting for the clue to the next step in my day.   For those of you who also make the effort to help others, in however small a way, think about what your story looks like. There are a couple of examples I'd like to share with you to help illustrate what I mean.

As I remain open to be guided on how I can do even one small thing to be kind to someone else, it's been amazing how things come around.  I've shared my story about 'Johnnie, the pool guy who plays music' and has even shown up at my home to play his accordion, harmonica, spoons and more.  Ok so keep that thought.

Over the past two weeks I attended the funeral of the husband of a friend I've known since moving to Kingston in 1984.  She and I had worked together and she and her husband credited me with bringing them together.  I prefer to say 'blame' but theirs was a long and happy marriage.  My friend Rosemary showed me a photo of her husband on his last day of life at Rideaucrest Home listening to and enjoying music from the east coast.  I immediately said 'That's my buddy Johnnie!'; she said 'You know him?' 'Yes' I replied 'I met him at the pool'.  'Well' she said 'Please make sure you tell him how much Gus appreciated his music and how nice a day he had.  He passed away between 3 and 5 the following morning'.  Still with me?

I emailed Johnnie to extend Rosemary's appreciation, only to receive a deeply heartfelt thanks from him for sharing such a wonderful story he otherwise would not have learned (one small gesture here on my part, easily could have been left undone).  His day was ignited into wanting to share his gift of music for others to the point of emailing someone at the hospital to share the email of his impact on Gus on his last day. Ok, here we are, Johnnie played for Gus, Rosemary so appreciative, Liz sends email with Rosemary's comments to Johnnie, Johnnie sends copy to hospital.

Isn't it strange when I receive an email from my very close and dear friend Brenda, who heads the Cancer Centre at the hospital, how she found it intriguing my name would be in an email thread from a fellow she knows by the name of Johnnie.

I asked back, how did Johnnie get your email?  She said she met him randomly at the mall a few years back and how Brenda's mom taught Johnnie at elementary school in Gander many years ago.
They'd exchanged contact information and here, several years later, Johnnie sends his message to Brenda.  Where it goes from here, who knows.  
Here is Johnnie's email to Brenda:

Hi Brenda,

This email inspired me to reach out to the hospital-a place where people get well and where people die-let their visit be pleasant and with joy

John

All I know is how terrific an example it is of listening to others, connecting the dots, taking action show others how the dots are connected and presto! several lives are made happier and relationships weaved a little more closely.  I commented to Mike last evening on how blessed we are to receive the gift of angels in our presence in everyday life.  

To sum up the example of this story, here is the email response to the message I sent to Johnnie:

Dear Liz,

Oh my god what a kind email,

As the song goes here I am Lord-I will hold your people in my heart-

I met rosemary-with Gus and told him I was playing for him -the man from stellerton Nova Scotia-scotland the brave and played on-...

I  am so overwhelmed with gratitude that god works with me this way-its my  resume from god—lol

Thank you Liz for sending me this message-its really hard to comprehend the entirety and the tears are flowing  and my heart is ready to explode-get me my accordion -I want to play more…

Johnnie

When following the lead of our 'guides' or 'higher self' or 'Holy Spirit' it's amazing at how our lives can be transformed so easily into joy we could never create for ourselves.  

Another very confusing example is  having committed to attend a show with a friend who, at the last minute couldn't go but wanted me to use the tickets anyway.  I hesitantly found someone else to go, only at the last minute to have our son call to say they may come for dinner.  Oh my, here I was being tugged by the external challenge when really, all I want to do is spend time with family.  My normal behaviour would be to totally overcomplicate things to see how I might 'fix' things so everything would turn out in a way everyone would be pleased.  Instead, I took a big pause, a huge deep breath, spoke again to my son to agree we would try for Saturday.  The show by the way, was excellent.  I asked a friend 'Do you ever do things others want you to do even if you don't want to?'  Needless to say she just laughed.  You may think this is such a minute matter, why am I even making the effort to share it with you.  It's to illustrate how mindfulness works in my mind.  Others, who don't feel emotions to the depth I do, would have no problem with a snap decision and happily carrying on with their plans.  I have to analyze, look at things from all sides, turn it upside down and inside out before necessarily coming to a decision and then, oftentimes, second guessing myself.  Oh wow, how did I ever manage to work for 35 years with this brain obviously working overtime all the time!  By taking each moment at a time I was able to look at things much more calmly, without going into the depths like in the past and letting the tiny details fly away like separating the wheat and chaff on a breezy summer day.  This was about trying to do something good with a friend, only to be tempted away by something in my mind, was more important.

Doesn't Friday come, still with plans for dinner Saturday night with the kids only to get an invite out to dinner by another extended family member.  The back and forth, seesaw activity was comedic to say the least with every effort made once again to accommodate everyone.  As things turned out we had dinner with no one, simply resting at home in each other's company.  The best outcome for me is I was able to relax and let it all go.  A big lesson for me out of these seemingly tiny examples is to marvel at how large families operate.  There clearly must be a system of sorts which families use to coordinate activities and get togethers.  

In the midst of all this, we had three of our grandkids overnight Friday with a fourth over for a visit.  They are getting to the age of thinking for themselves, insistent on knowing everything in some cases but still lots of fun to spend time with as we attempt to reason with these remarkable little people.  As we made slime without following directions, we learned sometimes paying attention to a recipe can be a good thing.  It's charming to observe the personalities reflected in these group activities and how some traits are so very much like their parents'.   

What I'm sharing today overall is a somewhat heightened sense of anxiety and uneasiness I've developed over the past couple of weeks.  I am on a new medication, replacing one daily injection of blood thinner with an oral dose twice a day.  Surely it should not affect my mood but I can't help but wonder. There are external factors influencing my frame of mind of late, hence the need for greater mindfulness.  It's a risk to reveal some of my thought processes but hopefully, maybe one person might be able to relate and gain an insight.  As I've said before, these posts come from seemingly no where but I am practicing trusting Holy Spirit with the words He is giving me to write.  

The next thing I will practice is to publish this message confidently with no regretful second thoughts.

After that, I will continue to practice, all day every day, doing some small thing to make someone else's day just a little brighter.  I will be a disciple in following what I believe to be the true path for me.  In my case I will continue to attend church which, by its very nature is missionary.  It's the station I can fill up with spiritual gas once I've emptied my tank. Will you join me in becoming a disciple in your own way?  

As I said to a friend the other day "Trust, trust, trust, and then trust some more." Until next time, take care, listen to the whispers of your guides, and live every day well, enjoying each moment!

Hugs
Liz

dobbsjones@gmail.com

"Prayers wrapped in faith and sent with love are the greatest gifts we can receive."