The technicians who conduct the scans could easily tell I've been to this rodeo before. I've had so many cat scans, I'm surprised I don't glow at night! Drink the dye soaked water in three fifteen minutes intervals. Ok to pee, review the potential side effects including the remote possibility of death. I wonder what it would be like to be fish bait with all that radiation in my system. Would the fish jump at the chance for a tasty morsel or high tail it as far away as possible? My oncologist explained to a resident in tow, how he doesn't worry about number of cat scans for patients in my circumstances and age group. They must figure the total amount of radiation is low on the priority list given all the other issues going on. At least it's one thing I don't have to fuss about every time they mention cat scan.
Next morning we showed up for a follow up appointment with the oncologist to review the results of Monday's test. As it turns out, radiologist hadn't fully reviewed or written the report yet but was able to advise there has been a change in the size of the mass camping out in my liver. Since starting chemo in November and having completed half of the therapy of 9 chemo treatments, the mass has shrunk by 20%. What I didn't think to ask was if they had a way of being able to tell how much of said mass is actively growing vs. how much might be dead tissue which won't likely be absorbed by my body. I sort of think that might help bring greater context to the percentage reduction. Since the oncologist gave two thumbs up, I guess I don't need to over complicate the matter. Using his words, which create a mental image I quite like was "At least we've kicked the can down the road." He explained how medically speaking it will never be gone and I will always have cancer, currently we are in a good place.
Further on that note, this was the first time he mentioned we may not transition to the clinical trial at the end of April as I had originally understood. Although now that I think about it further (since Tuesday) we have sort of talked about it. They had told me if I had to start chemo before the clinical trial started, we wouldn't move from something that was working to something that might work. Oh yes, it's starting to come back to me now. The missing link was my understanding of my current treatment. I have always been under the impression there had to be a break after 6 cycles, and given that break, we would start the trial. Maybe not, they now say, as apparently patients have been kept on this chemoprotocol of what they call 'weekly Taxol' for upwards of two years. I forgot to ask though, what comes after two years, or whatever time frame if my case happens to take that route? I guess that's an adventure for another day.
Today at the chemo unit a fellow I only know as Gerry (not his real name) was walking around with his favourite pal, his I.V. pole holding the bag of toxic cocktail gently dripping into his bloodstream, on the prowl to eliminate any fast growing cells in his body. He stopped for conversation and shared a highly detailed, intelligent history of his family's origin. I couldn't help but wonder why God had brought this man to my chair. Mike suggested he wanted to talk and I'm a good listener. Me? Really? With how much I like to talk? Well, perhaps, given that we shared a small overview of how we got into this predicament. I've been Stage 4 since 2013 with the original start date of August 2012. I learned he has been at this for 12 weeks. My theory is perhaps he just needed someone to talk to. Someone who might be able to give him some hope. Maybe he got just what he needed because shortly after comparing notes, he shuffled along.
Yesterday of course was Ash Wednesday which isn't intended to signify the start of Tim Horton's Roll Up The Rim to Win contest. You may know but the game was created to target those who observe Lent and usually try to give something up. Many people of course would consider giving up their Timmies and donating their daily coffee change to charity. Lent is really intended to help us renew and strengthen our relationship with God which is best done through His son Jesus Christ. After all it was Jesus who became human, to make it easier for us to relate to Him.
On our trip to visit friends Martha and Denis in Florida in the last two weeks, I contemplated a recurring theme which has presented itself in my life. It's been comments and observations on how much faith I appear to have. I'd like to ponder a little further before providing my own response and view on the concept. Hopefully my next post can include some musings on the subject.
We enjoyed over a week of sun, breeze and mid 80's (F) weather with no plans to run from one place to another, not even to my favourite place in the world - the beach. That primarily because I was warned not to be in direct sunlight, pretty much unavoidable at the beach. As a result, retail therapy took over first place as the activity of choice. Over the past number of years I have done annual clothes shopping in Florida. Since we hadn't been in a few years, with many of my clothes now too big for me, well it only made sense to replace and replenish. It's amazing what one can find in high end thrift shops and discount clothing stores even with the exchange rates high.
The most important activity Martha and I undertook during our time together was to have conversations about our faith. For many years now we have been encouraging one another to delve deeper into our beliefs and sharing our thoughts and interpretations. We started to watch a couple of episodes of a one season series called 'A.D. Kingdom and Empire' on Netflix. The story focuses on what happens after the Crucifixion. Sadly there was only one season of 12 episodes filmed, leaving us hungry for more. A close friend at home had highly recommended I watch the A.D. series and I'm certainly glad I took Dan up on his suggestions. Mike and I had already watched the full season and are willingly considering a second viewing.
Martha and I attended two Bible study classes, both rich with well crafted worksheets and questions. One included a video followed by questions and small group discussion. It was narrated by Anne Graham Lotz, daughter of Billy Graham. She sure had a thing or two to share. One thing I'm keenly aware of though, is how we can get lost in the countless offerings of well designed faith based information. What I've found is we each need to explore enough of a variety to be able to narrow down which programs or themes or speakers resonate best with our own views and beliefs. I have long been a follower of Ignatian Spirituality, mentioned several times in the past on these posts. I receive a daily 3 minute retreat which is a great start to my day. It is put out by Loyola Press. In the past few days I read an article which you may find of interest if you've enjoyed even a few of these posts I write. If you can't click right through to the article 'Hooked by a Choice', you might wish to google it and poke around the website to determine if it speaks to you.
IgnatianSpirituality.com ® is a service of Loyola Press, a Jesuit ministry.
Click through to read the full article Hooked by a Choice, which appeared first on Ignatian Spirituality.
I will end with a God Wink from the start of our trip. We were to fly out of Syracuse on Friday, February 2nd but due to weather conditions and air traffic control issues, we either had to remain overnight or fly to Newark N.J. and try to find a hotel room for the night. We simply called the shuttle for the Syracuse Airport Inn (Best Western) adjacent to the airport to pick us up and booked a room. After dinner we decided Mike should have a nightcap in the tiny bar next to the dining room. We visited with an interesting family from central New York until lo and behold two families come into the bar. One family included Debbie, a former colleague at the Hospital Foundation, her husband and two daughters. What are the odds we would see someone we know so well? I'm not sure why God put them in our sights but will remain open. If nothing else, another stone in the foundation of our friendship and a story of "Remember when we met at the Syracuse Airport?"
On that note, I will sign off with plans to write again in a couple of weeks.
Take care and God Bless,
Liz
dobbsjones@gmail.com
'Prayers wrapped in faith and sent with love are the greatest gifts we can receive'
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please feel free to submit a comment about my posts.