The Urge to Purge or Clearing Out with a Sense of Purpose

Off to Hotel Dieu we went on Thursday for another cat scan to determine the effectiveness of the latest doubling of meds to try to stop the growth of cells in my liver.

One has the joy of drinking what tastes like a glass of water full of metal over the course of 45 minutes although I found that not breathing while drinking seems to stave off the taste.  The follow up appointment to review the results is on December 10th and I'm surprised at how much calmer I am this time than in October.  I suppose that's because the last time, which was really the first follow up to treatment for my liver was a sort of milestone for me mentally and emotionally.  I had it built up in my mind as a 'life and death' moment in time when in reality it was just the next step on the path of dealing with this illness.

It seems as more time goes by, the less fearful I become and more accepting of whatever is going to be.  More importantly, if I can hang onto the faith and trust that has been building, the sense of adventure is heightened.  None of us knows what the future holds for us and for the most part thank goodness we don't!  It's so much easier to wake up in the morning and have a conversation with God to invite today's adventure in and remain confident that whatever happens is for the greatest good of all concerned.

Mike has discarded his cane this week and his six week check up post hip re-surfacing was good news.  The infection was caught in time with antibiotics which are now complete, there is no need for further intervention and he is well along in his recovery.  Given the physical nature of his job - outside all the time slinging ladders and climbing poles and hauling equipment - leaves no room for 'light duties' so he has to be fully recovered before returning to work.

Now on to the topic at hand, the urge to purge!  It seems a natural reaction to a serious illness, to feel the need to get one's affairs in order, review things done and undone and take steps toward a sense of completion.

As my energy levels allowed, I started to 'go through stuff', looking at all things through the lens of 'the spirit of poverty'.  For a long time now I had difficulty reconciling the materialism of our world with the instruction Jesus gave his followers, 'Sell your things, give the money to the poor and follow me'.  Today's society somehow doesn't accommodate that image but if one looks more closely we can certainly adapt to our own circumstances.  After all, truly how many sets of wine glasses do we need?

How many winter coats, boots, shoes and clothing of all types do we really wear?  After going through clothes, did I go through the house in an organized fashion?  Oh no, let's start going through this cupboard and when in another room, pull apart that dresser, and in a third place, empty that closet.  Hence the house was in a state of total disarray when a friend came to collect a large assortment of glass and old windows for glass art.  Hard as I tried to keep us contained in the living room, she asked about the room upstairs - oh no - the worst room yet!  Well up we went and in the midst of admiring the hardwood floor, she asked if 'that' was a treadle sewing machine (covered in dust as it had just been brought up from the basement to replace another sewing machine that was sent to Bibles for Missions). Yes I replied to which a follow up question by her partner was 'Does it work'.  Me thinking of course, 'Do they ever not work'?  Then the magic unfolds:  He tells us how his parents are trying to help an Amish family in central New York State who have 12 children and no electricity where the mom wants to sew clothes for the kids.  I looked at them, at the intricate, elaborate design on the sewing machine cabinet, back at them and offered it to them.

Of course there was the usual discussion about how much and when and so forth.  If they were interested, the machine had to go to them.  Over the next couple of weeks this couple visited and delivered the machine to wide eyed faces of several young Amish boys who were dispatched to the barn for a certain piece of something required to get it going.  In a matter of minutes they had it fully functioning.  When asked what we wanted for the piece, they replied 'Prayers' and so in addition to that, our friends delivered a loaf of Amish bread.

How we felt after that experience is such that one cannot buy that kind of joy.  Several of us had the privilege of being used to improve the lives of others in a providential way that likely would never have happened had my adventures in prayer and medicine not come to pass.

We have had at least three other similar experiences, giving a Nativity set to a friend who had very specific objectives in mind - when offered, it was perfect.  She suggested I may want to keep it to which I replied "Of course I want to keep it - but I can't, it must come to you".  Again a deep seated sense of joy that cannot be measured.  In another case, during a casual conversation, offering a box of vinyl albums to someone who we didn't know at the time of offering, had overcome challenges through music.

How awesome is that!?

The only way I can describe the purging activity is that throughout, I had a sense of guidance.  My way of 'selling what I have and giving the money to the poor' was to choose an organization that aligns itself with that philosophy.  In doing so, we delivered literally truckloads of really good stuff that we know will help that organization achieve its goals of helping others.

The more I gave away, the more I looked for things to part with, becoming a cleansing experience in the process.

Next week includes reviewing and updating wills and powers of attorney, something everyone needs to do on a regular basis.  In preparation for this activity I have found the conversations with family warm and inviting, bringing questions, issues and concerns up that may otherwise not have been addressed.  It's almost like a game of chess, although I don't play chess so in some ways have no idea what I'm talking about, so maybe better to say it's like a game of strategy, to determine how one can be fair, equitable and responsible with one's affairs.  And again, how do we pass on our values and sense of purpose to the next generation.  I have long espoused the view that with whatever little I may have left at the end of my life, my only biological child doesn't need to get it all.  The greatest gift I can give him is the gift of philanthropy.

As a society we are wealthy beyond measure, and I believe we have a responsibility to educate the next generation on how to share what they have and receive with others.  Many are in situations that are not of their own making or choosing and so let's find a cause that resonates in our own hearts and direct our efforts accordingly.  We are entering the most giving time of year and so, with that in mind, let's all think about how we might share our abundance and receive immeasurable joy in return.

Until next time…….mid December will bring the results of the latest scan and the next page in the Adventures in Prayer and Medicine.

God Bless…….

"Prayers wrapped in faith and sent with love are the greatest gifts we can receive".